12/19/2013 03:12:00 pm | Thursday 19 December 2013
~=+Ian+=~


Life's little irony was when I 1st saw the pregnancy test kit back in August 2012. Being a person with a weak health, I didn't know that I could every see the positive results on a pregnancy test kit. During that time, I was going thru a very rough patch in my life. Your daddy wasn't working cos we were just on our road to recovery from a motor accident. I just changed job to a new company and I didn't even know if I could keep the job for long as its a sales job n it was very demanding. Life was really tough and it was a hard decision to whether or not to keep this precious life I just conceived.

There were a lot of commotion going on. As daddy and I almost broke up due to the fights over fundamental issues. Nevertheless, daddy brought me to a doctor in Malaysia where I took a 1st glimpse at you. A lot went thru my mind, I was super emotional. I kept wondering if I would be the best mother to you. I was a failure in life, always have been drinking my life away. I cant even provide for myself, set alone how am I suppose to be there for you if I were to keep you? Yet again, I prayed and after much pondering, your daddy n I have decided to keep you.

We packed our bags and left Singapore to daddy's home in Malaysia as mummy could no longer keep my job and we can no longer afford a place to stay in Singapore. Life in Malaysia was tough. Perhaps due to the conservative society and the fact that daddy and I were not married yet. Words of scornfulness were ringing each day. And every moment was hurtful. Many thoughts keep running in my mind and I keep asking myself whether I made a right choice to move in with daddy in Malaysia? As the day gone by, you grew older, I can feel you moving inside me and that was what kept telling me to be strong. Since I have decide to keep you, I can only pray to God that all these awful people would stop calling you names and making my life difficult to go on.

All these while with you in me, I pulled up all the courage that I could ever gather. I tell myself that for your sake I must be as strong as I can ever be. Even though daddy's mummy even asked me to kill you before you can come to Earth, the more I tell myself that I have to protect you at all cost. As your movements in me got stronger, sometimes I find it hard to even sleep at night. But I know that all is going to be worthwhile. Because, daddy loves me with all his heart and of cause he will love you with his life and protect too.

And on 04th April 2013 at 6am in the morning, my water burst, and I know I am going to see  you for the 1st time. Daddy and I decided to come back to Singapore to deliver to you because back in Malaysia, there are just too many people out to hurt you with scornful and sour words. Its hard to explain why, just in simple words, one man's poison is another man's antidote. Your daddy may have been a good person to those in Malaysia, but to u and me, your daddy is the greatest daddy anyone could have wished for. The moment your daddy and I heard your cries, we cried too. Because we just love you so much and happy to see you.

After you were being cleaned up, I held you for the 1st time, and that moment on I know that no matter what happens, I am going to love you, protect you, be there for you and give you my very best.

And daddy help you tightly too. He too will love you with n protect you with his life. This path to have you is the best choice that daddy and I ever made.

You are just daddy's pride. And never fail to make his day. And I know for sure that because of you, daddy has learn to become a better person he ever was. And me too that I am glad I am no longer the party drunkard I used to be.

Day by day as you grew, you looks changes.

And day by day as you grow, my love for you grew too.

We have made our vows to care for you and make this family complete .

And as u progress further, you never fail to entertain us with your cuteness.

Soon, u learn to flip over and begin to be that mischievous little baby.
 

Daddy and I finally got married on 21st September 2013. and of cos we brought you to the occasion. you are considered our little witness of love. Honestly, without you, perhaps daddy and I will never learn how to love you n how to love each other more everyday.
And yes, there you are. Everyday never failing to smile and fill our lives with so much joy.

You are such a happy baby you know. Always showing us your cute n happy face.

Daddy and I can cannot imagine our days without you. and we cherish every moment we can have together as a happy n loving family. Though life itself still hover problems for daddy n I to face n yet to solve. Still, I believe with hard work and perseverance, God will lead us away from unhappiness. At least, for now, we are together as one family, home in Singapore and away from all those people with evil mouths.

So, keep on smiling for us Ian boy. God bless this baby boy of mine to grow up healthy, strong and happy each day. I am thankful that I was put through so much hardship during my pregnancy. Cos it was only thru such physical and mental "training" that I became a determine n head strong mother for you. And I will remain strong n protect you with my life. I love you Ian. and daddy loves u too.




Surrealistic Shynna




12/11/2013 11:51:00 pm | Wednesday 11 December 2013
~=+11.12.13+=~


今天的日历显示的日期是 - 2013年12月11日
看这个美丽的次序,相信创世纪中只会发生那么一次。

在这样的一个夜晚,到家会是在干嘛呢?
可能会有人是和家人在一起,也会有人跟自己爱的人在一起。。也许也会有些人是独自一个人度过。在很多人眼里,今天也不过是一个普通的一天。
上班的上班。。游玩的游玩。。

我呢?
今天也没什么特别。

一早起身就是为了孩子忙。。煮煮粥,抹抹地,洗洗这个,洗洗那个。。
可能就这样忽略了老公。
现在,正在写这部落格的我是在宝宝睡着了在写的。

老公现在正在值夜班。
今天的他应该是十分忙碌。。。我到现在还未看到他上线facebook。

有时候想想,我是不是管老公管的太紧了呢?
我也不懂要怎样回答这个问题。
或许是因为我和老公的日常生活现在可说是日夜相隔,所以照成了我残生许多不平衡。

眼看着其他人的家庭是过着正常,开心,温暖的生活,我不禁心里有些忧伤。
老公长怪自己 - 不懂英文,没读过几年书,所以只能做回烧腊这个老本行。
做生不如做熟,所以选择了值夜班。。

我经常·提醒自己,这是短暂的。
总有一天老公是可以过回白天的正常生活。
我也常觉自己不要其人有心,无中生有。。
叫我自己好好顾好这个家,带好宝宝。

心里怎样不好受也要忍着眼泪来度过。
唯一不让我胡思乱想的方式就是让自己累垮。。
让自己忙忙忙。。。 一心一意对宝宝。。 什么都不想。。
可是这个举动竟然却伤了老公的心。。。 让他觉得我忽略了他。

我想是时候我开始平衡一下我自己。。
上网看看资料要如何学会在老公和孩子之间做出一个公平的爱戴。。。
夜了。。

我不要想那么多了。。
大家晚安了。



Surrealistic Shynna




11/19/2013 10:49:00 pm | Tuesday 19 November 2013
~=+婚姻+=~


时间过得比我想象的还要快。我还记得以前,当我开始在写部落格的时候,写的都是很多不开心的事,很多心里的约束,悲哀。。。。

现在这么回头一看,我已经离婚 5 年了。这个 5 年里面,我也经历了不烧奋斗,开心与悲哀。卡见了悲欢离合总无情,尝遍了酸甜苦涩。。。也许这就是每个人所谓的成长过程。

人。。。哎 ~ 有些时候,人到底是为了什么而生存呢?

是不是每个人都一定要恋爱,结婚,生孩子,组织家庭,这样才算完整?

对我而言,我竟了 10 年失败的婚姻, 其实心里的恐惧还任然存在。
爱与被爱之间,也说实在的,需要很多磨练,沟通和许多小细节来维持的。

我在一年前做了个没人想得到的决定。那就是,我决定再婚。

我决定给自己一个机会来做个好人。做个好妻子好妈妈。

过去的岁月,夜夜笙歌的饮酒做乐,五日午夜个狂欢,事我变成了行尸走肉。大女儿我放弃了。。。自己的前夫对我来说,只是个没用又没工作的废人。就因为心了的创伤,我选择了用酒来麻醉一切。离婚后,我对人生也完全失去了方向。

我终是觉得,男人嘛 ~ 他们要的也不过是性爱,开心就合,不开心就分。没什么了不起。

当我的年龄开始步入30 时,我慌了。
我开始害怕孤独。开始害怕终老。开始害怕,我的人生,还没开心过可能,我就次就再也么有办法在开心起来了。

不过,老天可能也算照顾我。就再我对`爱情与婚姻非常绝望的那一刻,老天爷竟然让一个能够让我从新做人的男人出现在我的生命里。我自己也不敢相信。。。

我始终还是跟他结婚了。老天爷还送了个可爱的儿子给我们。。。

竟然天要给我一个好好回改的机会,一个好好弥补我过去的不开心的时机,我真的要好好把握。哪怕是失去了一切,我也在所不惜。

是什么让我睁开了眼?
是你爱我的方式。

是什么让我觉悟?
是看着孩子天天快乐成长。

是什么让我放弃一切?
是我对你和孩子的爱。

我感谢苍天可以对我仁慈。在我那么想放弃人生时,带给我一个老公,在我想丢弃自己生命时,把贤贤送给我。

当两个人举起双手许下婚姻诺言时,我们都要知道,从此以后,我们的身份与地位已经不一样了。我们将会永结同心一起手拉手走到老。不管发生什么事情我们都要一起度过。
我们必须接受与遵从我们对彼此的宣示。

现在的我跟过去根本就是完全两个人。
因为 :
 1) 我是你的老婆
 2)我是贤贤的妈妈
 3)是苍天给我复活的唯一机会

我不想再犯错也不会再犯错。。。
只要你永远在我身旁,我将会像现在一样努力做好妈妈和妻子的本分。

爱~ 只是一个字,并不能让人天长地久。有了爱,没了责任,到了最终还是无法一起包头到老。

为老公和孩子结晶所能才算是一个好妈妈,好老婆。爱老公和爱孩子的背后带着的是牺牲。
牺牲睡眠,用尽全心全意来照顾好他们的饮食起居。教导孩子,让她快乐健康成长。 放弃无谓的娱乐,就算和朋友见面聊天的时间便少了或`没了也无所谓。

这样才算是有爱有责任。

我希望我所做的一切牺牲是值得的。也希望我的全心全意可以让我一辈子快乐,一辈子无忧到死。
唯一的烦恼就是孩子健康吗?老公吃饱吗?不像其他的事情干扰我现在的幸福。。。。。。

我也希望老公会爱我,对我们在结婚时所许下的宣誓给我们的这段婚姻带来永恒。






Surrealistic Shynna




11/14/2013 12:19:00 pm | Thursday 14 November 2013
~=+Cockroach Soup!!+=~


As promise to the husband on making him the pear soup ... I made my way to the market yesterday to get all the ingredients needed. It was raining for the past few days and I did not have the opportunityto go out. No one is helping me to take care of Ian and everywhere I go, I have to bring that little fellow with me. And apparently the rain had made it difficult for me to go on marketing as I find it a hassle to let him tag along with me.
 
God was finally kind to me yesterday to let mr sun shine for a little while. With whatever time I got, I ran to do some simple marketing. Ive been a housewife for almost 2yrs now.

No more drinking n partying.. even the meeting up with friends are like to the minimal. I do everything on a time table basis. From the 1st feed for Ian to making lunch, housekeeping and laundry .. Been a super good girl for so long ...

Ok now, back to the snow pear soup ... The husband is working the night shift in a local 24hr coffee shop and I feel that he needs some soup once in awhile for his health. Therefore I suggest snow pear with white fungus soup.

Ive never boil this soup before and this is my 1st try, although Ive drank it before. I roughly know the basic ingredients for the soup.
1) Snow Pears
2) White fungus
3) Almonds
4) Pork Ribs
5) Wolfberries

I blanch the pork ribs in order to remove the "bone bits" and to have clear soup. Also to rid the soup of the porky taste. Im so excited to make new things all the time. So long the husband is happy with what I am making for him ..

Took the nice effort to boil the soup for like 2hrs ...

Well... its my 1st try and what do you expect? After all was done, the husband asked me to pack the soup in a thermo container so he can bring it to work to drink.

This morning he returned home from work as usual. I asked the husband how was the soup? He gave me a queer look .. his reply, to me, was LMAO ...
"you made me cockroach soup? "

LOL ..... ok ... my mistake .. dumb me.. I think  I added a little too much almonds into the soup and cause the soup to have that "cockroach" taste. He said it was that awful, just that  if I were to make this soup again, be careful not to add to much almonds ...

Well .. nice 1st attempt. Now I know what my mistakes are, I will bear in mind next time when I make snow pear soup again.

And, here is the snapshot of the failed cockroach soup. Looks good, taste weird. =P



Surrealistic Shynna




11/12/2013 10:43:00 pm | Tuesday 12 November 2013
~=+Trying To Bring A Dead Blog Alive Again+=~


Oh my GOD !! I can believe that I left my blog to rot for like 2 long donkey years ... I do hope that I can start blogging again n try to bring back some life into this page..

I guess I must have lost a handful of readers ...

Oh well, as it goes, a little update on myself for this past 2yrs. Things go up n down like a roller coaster ride. I was emotional... Overwhelm with emotions ... happiness, sadness, craziness ... nevertheless my life is still as paradoxical as ever.

A general new update is that I have remarry. I have ended my dreadful 10yrs marriage with Tachi n have moved on .. From Charles .. to ... Kevin ... and then to monsters n creatures, not forgetting chevalier .... N now I end myself with a normal person. Not a goth nor rocker .... surprise?

and yes, after I settled down with this man of my life, I have a son. He is now at 7months old n doing well..

I do hope that I can revive this blogger once again ... lets start from now, perhaps I shall write like once to twice a week... lets see if I can get back the responds of readers that I used to have, perhaps bring up the level of readers?

I am still a goth, I never forget the culture that I am brought for and most importantly, I still love metal music. Just that my outlooks have changed to a little mainstream. probably from the stress n exhaustion of have to take care of 7month old Ian ... Im a new mother all over again ..

hmmmm ... shall end here ok? will update soon


a little recent pic of myself before n after makeup ... kinda farfetched from the goth that u guys used to know eh ~~



Surrealistic Shynna




6/20/2011 11:02:00 pm | Monday 20 June 2011
~=+Paradoxical Paradoxide+=~


Things have not been and should not have been what they seemed to bE. BUT never the less; it happened anyway.                            ThingS seemed to b NEITHER SURRELISATIC, GOTHLIATHICAL NOT REALISTICAL, YET STILL; IT HAPPENED ANYWAY       .....        HAVING TOO MUCH GIDDY SPELLS HAVE CAUSED ME NVR TO PEN ANYTHING TOO PROFOUND...      YET I CANT B IDOTICAL ENUOGH TO PEN THINGS TOO SHALLOW... YET;     ..... IT HAPPEBED ANYWAY ...               IT HAS GOT ME GOING, ON THE OTHER HAND GOT ME COMING.... STILL; IT HAPPENED ANYWAY ........          THE WRITINGS OF A GOTH IS COMING BACK...   N SO ... THING SHUD HAVE BEEN THE WAY THEY USED TO BE.... THUS; I HOPE SO .... HENCE IT WILL HAPPEN    ... ANYWAY ~ ...                  



Surrealistic Shynna




5/14/2011 08:31:00 pm | Saturday 14 May 2011
~=+ Live Cell Therapy +=~


Live cell therapy is actually the use of living tissue to rebuild and revitalize ailing or ageing tissue. Such therapy has a long term effect because it stimulates the body's own healing and revitalizing powers.







Yes, our body system is very complex. We can heal and revitalize on our own. But of cos, this process can be hestant with the help of Live cell therapy.



Live cell therapy acts like an organ transplant and it can actually make old cells regenerate. Hence, new healthy cells will form.
Several millions of people around the world have gone thru such therapy and injections since in the mid 1950s.


However, this method of therapy was discovered way back in 1931 by a Swiss physician, Dr. Paul Niehans.


Recently, live cell therapy has become very popular as it has proven that it can actually slow down aging and also prolong life. This process not only reduce damage cells in our body but also be able to replenish and rejuvenate our cells.


Live cell therapy not only helps one look good but also feel good as the body system is totally renew.


Like I have mentioned in my previous entry on ageing, live cell therapy is a successful cure and 101% answer to all our ageging woes.


I myself, have personally experience it myself. Well, live cell therapy used to be an extravagant investment for one to look young n maintain their health. But, due to the advancement of medical science, it is now easily available at our finger tips in capsules form. Such capsules are placenta abstract from sheep.


Wana know more on how it has help me? Follow on the next few entries ! ^^




Surrealistic Shynna




Just A Vulnerable Person
Building Her Own World



~=+MY BLURBS+=~


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Don't Hate me for no Reason

Don't Judge me by my Appearance

LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM

SHYNNA HAS A HEART


I don't live to please people






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page summary


  • ~=+Ian+=~
  • ~=+11.12.13+=~
  • ~=+婚姻+=~
  • ~=+Cockroach Soup!!+=~
  • ~=+Trying To Bring A Dead Blog Alive Again+=~
  • ~=+Paradoxical Paradoxide+=~
  • ~=+ Live Cell Therapy +=~
  • ~=+ Ageing +=~
  • ~=+Crazy Drinking AGAIN!!+=~
  • ~=+ Kumanthong +=~





  • You are a loser!
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